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Thursday 17 December 2009

a little festive funny

I hope it makes my readers giggle as much as it did me, enjoy

All this talk of dry fruitcake made me pine for the days of yore when I would help grandma make Christmas cake. Here's the recipe (as best as I can remember it, it's a little fuzzy):

You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey. NOTE: Whiskey may be replaced with your favourite beverage. Being of Scottish ancestry, me and grandma naturally used Scotch.

Directions:

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiskey again and go to bed.

Sunday 13 December 2009

yup, that went well!

Hello my little crispier crumb cookies. Well it’s been some time since I last put finger to keyboard and writ something down. To be honest not a great deal has been happening, except for the regular painting parties attending the abode of #6 and I. A couple of trips to see nursey, apart from a drop in BP, nothing new there either. As I type this out, I have to say that I am once again hacked off with the county’s weather, the Geminids, a meteor shower, are set to be astounding with a ZHR of up to 100. my knees have been very bad this weekend. It’s quite uncomfortable walking and kneeling is extremely painful. With Christmas looming I received an early chrimbo pressie from my girly. She took me to see pink at the O2 on Thursday 10th December. Wow! Not that that sums it up, it was spectacular. The small blonde one performed most of the songs from the funhouse album, some of her earlier stuff and a couple of covers, the most fantastic of which was Queens Bohemian Rhapsody. The main guitarist was absolutely awesome, although when we were at the show and he was giving it the large I thought Tea said he was awful, silly me! We stayed with a friend of teas, Poppy. She seemed sweet enough and a very good hostess. On Friday we had a saunter around Bromley. Initially I was unimpressed. It’s just another town on the outskirts of London, but then we found the market stall to end all market stalls. I found three of my Christmas pressies there. Now when I say three of my pressies, I actually do mean pressies for me. As much as I enjoy the festive season, I don’t like leaving people to guess what to get me. I’ve told Tea what I want and she’s passed that info onto others. So back to the stall, after some serious thinking I suggested to the light of my life that I would like to buy myself a piece of coprolite and a Spinosaur tooth. Whilst browsing the rest of the beautiful fossils on display I noticed a large Mososaur tooth in matrix. It is amazing to think that a couple of hundred million years ago it was being used to eat marine beasties. So Tea said that if I bought it, she’d refund the money and I could have it as a pressie. I also found a stall that sold note books, not just ordinary notebooks. These are the kind that could easily belong to a magic user from any sword and sorcery RPG or some ancient forgotten tome such as alazifs necronomicon. So in the New Year, tea and I plan to visit Bromley again this time armed with a bit more cash. Not to mention the brilliant little comic shop she spotted for me. That girl knows me so well. The problem with buying fossils is that you’re not the first person to see it. When I’ve cracked open chunks of blue lias at Lyme I know that I’m the first human eyes to see the fossil inside, and daylight hasn’t touched it for millions of years. It does give you quite a buzz. So now I really want to head down to Pett and stroll along cliff end. Even more than ever, to return to Lyme and Charmouth. I have a couple of things in mind for my betrothed, and I plan to do a bit of shopping in the next few days. I also have to find a clockwork radio for my secret Santa at work. Both Tesco and boots claim to have one within the price range agrees, but I also have one reserved at Argos, should the need arise.

The maintenance on the house is coming on well, the kitchen is looking good and just needs a lick of paint on the ceiling, the bathroom is also done and now just needs the shower curtain re-installed. The guys have stained the banisters and it looks spectacular. All that needs to be done now is paint the dining room and bathroom ceiling, and then do the gloss work. I also need to have a major sort out and tidy both the front and back rooms, and sort out my bedroom. Whilst it’s not painfully important as I won’t be using it a great deal, I will need to use for a couple of weeks at the end of January/beginning of February.

Whilst the guys were down today we discussed whether we would be buying pressies for #6s Christmas. It’s been agreed that a contribution towards buying him a bike would be a good idea. If enough people put in on it he should end up with a fairly good one. Tea understands that when he comes home I will be spending some time with him, but he will, hopefully, be spending time with us. I don’t really want him spending too much time on his own shut indoors too much for the first few months so I will try and get him out as much as I can. With luck he’ll start coming along to astronomy club on Fridays. I know he’s talked of getting a new scope and we shall make a day out of that. I think a trip to telescope house is in the offing. Hopefully the old chap will get use of a vehicle from time to time.

Anyways it’s Monday tomorrow and the start of a new week, as of tomorrow there’s only eleven days until Christmas and 48 days until my birthday. Well that’s it for now, I know only a handful of folk are reading my blog at the mo, and I hope they continue to drop in. So until the whim to ramble on about nothing in particular, ta ta all, and if I don’t write a blog in the next 11 days, I shall take this opportunity to wish my handful of faithful readers a very merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous new year.

Deck the halls and all that.