Saturday, 16 January 2010

I don’t care what you think, strawberry milkshake does count as one of my five a day!

It’s Saturday evening and I sit here typing this in the half light of the front room and the telly babbling away in the corner. Friday was the usual festivities that are Fridays, with the exception of one of the usual offenders, who’d chosen to go elsewhere, oh well, no real loss, and young Pete who called time early due to being a poorly pickle. I retired earlyish; to be joined by my most affectionate mogs for the duration of the night, there’s something very odd about having a cat sleeping beside you, particularly when he snores. Today was not a shop day, I cancelled it this week as I was expecting the gang down to throw some paint around, sadly this was not the case. So I’ve spent most of the day with my cat on my chest whilst I flicked through the sky channels. All those channels and virtually nothing to watch. So I resorted to the stuff I’d downloaded on I-player. Although one of the programmes I wanted to watch had timed out, oh bugger! Still heroes and being human are back on, and survivors has returned with a second season so it’s not all bad.

I’m not doing well sticking to my New Year resolution. I’ve managed to paint half a Necron heavy destroyer, and it’s not mine. So I must make more effort on my models, I really want to get on with the buildings, but I know that I daren’t start on those or none of the armies will get finished. Not to mention the Mumak for the lord of the rings. Plus there’s a possibility that GW are releasing some more scenery models, particularly two space marine statues. If the rumour’s true, they’ll make excellent pieces for the entrance to the destroyed city I’m building. There’s also talk of a couple of new space marine models, oh dear! Plus there may be some new Tau and Necron models looming on the edge of possible. Curse Games Workshop and their new releases!

Tomorrow looks to be quiet, taking care of the bestest moggie in the world, and then spending the rest of the day with the loveliest girlie in the world, and her little dog, who is, without a doubt, the bestest little pup ever.

So until next time I leave you with this...

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Yes! Well, I'm polymerized tree sap and you're an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you.

I have come to the conclusion that TV is a load of rubbish, well almost.

This evening (Monday) there have been four episodes of three soaps a couple of current affairs documentaries and some reality TV. I’m not adverse to the fact that people enjoy soaps, even though they’re primarily tales of human misery, if you didn’t want to open a wrist before watching one you probably do afterwards. The thing is, I like sci-fi, and I make no secret of it, all my friends are aware of it and a fair few share my enthusiasm for it. Last year we had very little by way of sci-fi, we had Ashes to Ashes, whilst technically not science fiction I do enjoy it. We also had a couple of doctor who specials. There was the abysmal failure that was Demon and Primeval. Which was cancelled by ITV, the reason behind the cancellation was that ITV wants to concentrate on more adult drama. What drama? celebrities falling on their backsides, Ant & Dec, washed up singers turning to opera, Ant & Dec, some stupid dating show which involves some egotistical twonk trying desperately to impress a couple of dozen brainless bimbos, Ant & Dec, sport, Ant & Dec, more soap and just in case we feel we’re missing out, Ant & Dec! the BBC aren’t any better, Saturday nights line up comprised of a ridiculous game show which features the contestants trying to injure themselves jumping on giant inflatable balls, another game show in a similar vein. Then there’s another pointless talent show, this one is people throwing themselves around like an epileptic octopus having 4000 volts shove up its left nostril. Sundays are just as bad, the closest thing to anything entertaining was a program that centred on some mad bloke being stuck in a jungle trying to get back to his wedding. Still, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, well sort of. There’s a second season of survivors, a third and final season of ashes to ashes, the remake of the prisoner that seems interesting. But we’ll have the usual pile of mindless rubbish that involves making phone calls to determine which talentless numpty makes it to next week’s brain melting instalment. Some people reading this may get the impression that I don’t like these sort of programs because I’m jealous of the people that have the testicular fortitude to put themselves forward for it, exactly the opposite, I think that some of the people really do have talent. Having sat through last year’s X factor the majority of the finalists could sing. what makes me fume is the fact that the ones who get voted off still get some sort of recording contract whilst the ones that get through to the final are rarely heard of again. It must make the winner angry when they find out that the fella that went out in week four has a number one single, whilst the single they released got to number 5; it makes you wonder who the real winners are. Well obviously it’s the production company. They make a fortune from the people who phone in every week and then they make a fortune from the record and merchandise sales. day time TV’s just as bad, it’s all about selling your tat and making your house look nice. Except not nice how you would like it, oh no that wouldn’t be fun. Instead they get a couple interior designers to redo the house telling you that the old broken dining chair that they spent £400 on, then another £80 doing that up is going to look fabulous in your brand new art deco kitchen. 400 quid on one chair? And that’s broken! So you need seating for a minimum of 4 people at the table, that’s at least 1600 quid gone straight away. If it were proper reality house doing up, they’d take the 1600 quid to Argos and do up the whole bloomin’ kitchen.

Now I know I'm old, I’ll be saying things like “what happened to tunes you could whistle to?” Right I’m off to watch I’m a celebrity’s opera skating big brother on ice, followed by the latest tragedy on East Coronation Farm.

Sunday, 10 January 2010

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. then you’re a mile away, and you have their shoes!

It’s the weekend, only another eleven to go until I can have a decent amount of time off work. It’s a bit daft really, here I am having just returned to work after having a week and a half away and I’m looking forward to April already, that’s when my leave renews. I plan to have a long weekend with Tea where we can just kick back and chill. It’s possible that we’ll be living together by then, which also means that Jedi Master Obi Kat Kenobi will be living back with Tea as well. I’m sure he’ll settle right back in with few issues. Although April may be a bit ambitious and the move may occur later in the year. There are a few things to consider before the final decision is made.

You know there are times when I really wish I could tell certain people to just grow up, I try very hard to keep this blog fairly family friendly so I won’t express my full thoughts here, but there are a few things I’d like to clear up. I don’t need Viagra, nor do I need any part of my anatomy lengthened or widened. I also have no use for a Rolex watch, real or fake, to be honest, I don’t like Rolex watches. In fact I think they’re a bit dull. I don’t require a Russian, Vietnamese, Philippine or Taiwanese bride, besides; I don’t think the missus would be too impressed. I don’t want to give my bank details to some nutter in Nigeria, and I don’t want a share in the finances of a dead banker. So would you please stop putting my email address forward for all this crap! Dear god there are some morons around, I mean any idiot with half a brain will realise that I’m bound to figure out who the complete back-birth is, fortunately I don’t use the e-mail address that’s being put onto all these stupid sites and only a handful of people have it. I think it only fair that if you’re going to put some ones e-mail address forward for a ton of useless crap, they’d have the courtesy to provide it to some useful ones too. I’d love free samples of useful stuff like beer and chocolate, but seeing as the person I suspect it to be don’t have a real world address for me, I guess I’ll just have to continue adding the junk I get through to my spam filter. I thought I’d seen the last of brain dead morons when I quit working in catering, but I guess it doesn’t matter what you do and no matter how hard you try you’re still going to encounter those who can only count to 20 by taking their shoes and socks off, and are clear evidence that cousins shouldn’t breed.

On the brighter side of things we still have snow and the country is in the grip of yet another ice age, and there’s now a shortage of rock salt and grit. A man on the news, probably related to my phantom spammer, said that the winter was unexpected, what were they expecting? That autumn was going to give it a miss and slip straight into spring? Apparently a third of the world’s rock salt comes from a mine in Northern Ireland, so if we stopped exporting it and importing less from Russia we’d have enough. But then that the mind set of this government, export 6 million tonnes of stuff out of the country and import three million to meet demands.

I’ve just been reminded of something I miss, well more someone than some thing. That someone is a fella called Derek Acorah. Now for those of my readers who are not familiar with him, Derek is a spirit medium who was involved with a program called Most Haunted. He is hilarious, if you have a spare few minutes go to you tube and search him out, in particular look for a video labelled “Most Haunted, Mary Loves Dick!” no it’s not rude, it’s in connection with a notorious highwayman. It is, without a doubt one of his funniest moments.

So I shall leave you with that and hope that it brings smile to your face.

Stay safe and warm and I like Galaxy chocolate!