Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Musing, pondering and paint

Today is not a good day, I returned to work after a week off which wasn’t too bad, I felt a bit out of sorts, almost like I didn’t belong, it seemed that there was something else I should be doing. I took the week off so that I could help Trudes rest and be there for her whilst she concentrated on recovering after another chemo course. She has been told that no matter what the result is after this treatment, she won’t be able to have anymore, so now we hope for the best. Trudes hasn’t been overly clear about what happens next but I’m sure she will tell me when she’s ready, there’s also the possibility that she doesn’t know herself yet, in which case she’ll tell me when she does know.

It wasn’t until later in the day that I realised what had been playing on my mind and putting me out of sorts. Today, 22/11/10, is my daughters 23rd birthday. I was shocked when I realised, I haven’t seen TJ since she was six and the last I heard she was living with her mother somewhere in Northshire around the Preston area. Every now and then I search for her on face book, although I think finding her will prove very difficult as all I have to go on are two possible surnames and both of those produce several thousand results. So as you can imagine trawling through all those names would take some time, especially when I give it another shot I have to start right at the beginning of the list. I also have to consider the possibility that she could be using a name I don’t know or even married. If the married thing has happened there’s every chance that I could have grandchildren, oh lord now I feel old! To be honest, there’s not a day passes by when I don’t think of her and wonder what she’s doing or where she is. I also wonder how much she knows about me, does she even know who her real father is? The only thing I can be sure of is that if I ever get the chance to meet her, I would welcome her with open arms.

On to lighter things, well for me at least, I painted tonight, I have to say I’m very pleased with the result, I’ll put some pics up somewhere for those that like to see what I do. Yet again I’m having a whinge about the amount of models I have that need painting, I find the activity very relaxing and I enjoy the painting side of the hobby much more than playing the game, although I did play on Saturday and won using the Space Marines for the first time in a while. I know that most of the people who read this particular blog have no idea what Warhammer 40k is about, but some have a rough idea. I have a dedicated 40k blog that the more boring stuff gets written about on, but every now and then I have such a nice time painting and get such a sense of achievement from it that I feel I have to mention it here, plus it gives my followers something to read. One day I shall do a stage by stage painting guide for the Warhammer blog, something else that I’ve been meaning to do for a while now.

Changing subject again, its astronomy club this Friday, with luck I’ll get to take the Meade along and get some advice on how to use the thing properly, particularly setting it up. The weather hasn’t been very favourable for astronomy; in fact we’ve had one clear night over the last two weeks. We had a close call on Friday, but by the time I was ready to go out into the garden the cloud had rolled in. Still the good thing about bad weather is that it washes fossils out of the clay at the Warren so I could always head down there for a few hours. I’m sure the dogs would love a stroll along the beach and the sea air might do Trudes some good.

Right, I’m off to take Ronnii out for her last stroll, Richie had his earlier, and then off to bed. Sweet dreams one and all.

If by some slim chance of fate a certain young lady who just turned 23 ever reads this, I want you to know that I love you and I have missed you every single day since we last saw each other, good night my sweet little lass.