Thursday, 24 December 2009

At this point I should inform you that I intend to form my own team, and destroy the molecular bonds that bind your very matter together, and reduce the resulting particulate chaos to tears.

So, in the words of Noddy Holder, here it is merry Christmas. I finished work at about 13:00 yesterday, being the 23rd, and after a quick pint in the pub I bid my colleagues (minions) the best of the season and headed into town to make the last of my chrimbo purchases. Oh, by the way, I had a pint of Bombadier in the pub, don’t like it and won’t be having it again! So there! Ner!

The local shop-lifting centre and ASBO’s were thronging, it was chav central, oh how I wished for more time to nurse an unfeasibly large coffee and watch the mad people running around screaming at the offspring or at significant others from 2 feet away or into a mobile, why do people insist on having complete hissies in public? The shop rang out, not with festive music but the high pitched squealing of Chardonnay or Tiffneeeee, get your F**kin’ ar*e back ‘ere an’ ‘elp me sort yer bruvvers sh*t aht! By sh*t I believe the 17 year old mother meant Christmas gifts, honestly chavlish is truly a foreign language to me. I have, however, worked out that in order to be fluent in the lingo you have to swear every other syllable. It’s quite an art form really. After the claustrophobic hell that was the town, I headed home to the peace and tranquillity that is home and a few hours with master Obi Kat before heading up to her royal scrumptiousness. We had a quiet evening watching the telly box and doing general nothingness. Today I arose feeling less than festive and had quite a severe case of the grumps. But Tea challenged me to a wrapping paper tube fencing match. After declaring myself the victor, mainly down to the fact that Tea broke her sword, I felt a touch cheerier and headed off to tend to Lord Obi Kat. I won’t see him now until Saturday so I made sure that he has plenty of nosh to cover the time I’m away. We’re off down to Tea’s folks for the 25th.

There’s a small possibility that young Al and his new lady love will visit tonight, it will be nice if they do as we’ll get to meet the lass that’s put the smile back on the face of a very good mate. I must admit that I was starting to worry about him. But now he’s all loved up and that’s fantastic. A few months ago both of us had given up any hope of the chance of happiness and then it smacks us in the face saying “OI, I’m here! All you need to do is notice me!” so here we both are turning into big old sop monsters and being all besotted and stuff. Good innit!

It’s less than 24 hours until David Tenants penultimate performance as The Doctor, I really hope it’s worth the wait. So that’s it for now, I don’t expect this to be my final blog of the year; I’ll have tomorrow and pressies to babble on about. Woo Hoo.

I hope that my readers get everything they wish for this year; to be honest I just want the world to get on a bit better!

Joyeux Noel!