Monday, 30 August 2010

Rant, tents, tiddlers and poorly pups.

Rant #1 Friday night arrived, well evening, and after I had done my chores for obi I headed home via one of the local chip shops. At 19:05 I ordered cod & chips for two, at 19:10 one of the chaps behind the counter smiled at me and said sorry. Now if the chippy had been busy, I wouldn’t have minded so much. However, I was the only customer! When the chap apologised, probably for the lack of activity, I expressed my displeasure at the amount of time it had taken them to not batter the fish and drop it in the oil. I then left the shop, saying I would get the order at their nearest rivals.

Rant #2 this is aimed at the callous twonk who couldn’t wait five seconds for an animal to get out of the road, so he/she ran it over. The animal in question was a young gull, yes I know that there’s millions of the little blighters and that they can be a pest, but this little bird was the young of a gull that has become somewhat of a local mascot near the shop where I help out on Saturday. The adult gull has been named Oscar by the locals. They feed him and he is quite the cheeky little chap. He once tried to nick some cork from the shop. For the last few weeks he has paraded his chick up and down the area and seemed to be quite a doting parent. Unfortunately there’re no parental controls on this blog and there’s a chance that folk who take offence to harsh language. So I’ll do my best not to swear. So far as I’m concerned the owner of the car is a heartless moron, there were small children who witnessed your blatant act of animal cruelty. Just because you have a car, you don’t have the right to drive as you please. A little patience wouldn’t be too bad, but no, you felt the need to get to your destination as quickly as possible. Would it have made that much difference if you’d waited for the gull to get out of your way? Had there been a cat or a dog in the road, would have ploughed into that without a single thought for the animals owner. You inhuman troll; I hope that Oscar and his entire gull mates crap on your car, and your head, everyday for the next month.

On a brighter note we had a fantastic weekend. It started off well, I set off for the shop on Saturday morning, and I was twenty minutes behind schedule. Fortunately the advance team were en route to prepare for the oncoming tide of noisy sprogs, and the bus was late, this added ten minutes to the delay. Somehow the bus journey ran to time, and I made five minutes up. The shops incoming customers were a little sporadic, takings would have been a bit better had the National Express agents’ web site had been up and running. The afternoon gaming session was a bit quiet as most of the lads were out making the most of the last weekend of the summer holidays. Trudes arrived with the lovely Miss Molly and I shot off to Waitrose to stock up on provisions for the evening in tentville. The transport shuttle from star base Smarden arrived and we set off for our weekend break.

On arrival we loaded the tractor trailer with more stuff than we probably needed and I drove the machine to field we were camping in. Little Miss Molly decided that she was going to check out all the new smells and noises, so she and her momma walked all the way, although Tea prefers the term bimble. We unloaded and I took an opportunity to head up to the pond for a short stint of fishing, I like fishing! I can’t think of anyone I’d rather fish with, Manky and Jason from astronomy club were already tiddler bashing, so without delay I picked up a rod and started drowning bait. It was too long before I caught my first over sized minnow, the cheeky little piscine had more or less swallowed not only the bait, but the whole blooming hook. This needed forceps to remove; once the hook was out I released the little beggar and promptly dropped the forceps in the drink. This was the first disaster. After a bit more fishing we returned to camp for dinner. Dinner wasn’t quite ready so I went to finish off putting our tent up. This led to the second disaster; I’d forgotten the inflatable mattresses! Oh dear lord what was I to do? The first part of the plan that popped into my head was to ask around the others to see if anyone had at least one spare mattress, if they had then at least Trudes would be comfy. Sadly no one had a spare, so stage two was to either set off back to Folkestone and grab our mattresses or go to B & Q in Ashford and buy at least one for Trudes, then at the last moment, one of the chaps, namely Jose offered his mattress for the night. Trudes would have that and I’d make do with the floor. Once that issue had been fixed, I had to sort out one or two other issues, but I won’t go into detail here. By the time the tent was sorted, dinner was too. It was braised pork and new potatoes, yummo! A bottle of Doom Bar helped to wash it down, oh my it was good. Once I’d had my nosh it was time for Molly Pops to have hers, the usual mixture of finely chopped hot dog sausage sprinkled with bionic Biotic, its amazing stuff, Molly has a fine downy coat where she was a baldy girl when she first came into our lives. Once the divine miss M had scoffed, I headed off to get her jab. When I returned Batty mentioned that he had a couple of trout that he was going to cook, he asked if anyone would like some, Trudes has since discovered that she now likes trout, Good oh!

With dinner for everyone done some of the gang started building a camp fire, once it was ready to light, down came the rain. However, seeing as how we’re all completely bonkers, we lit it anyway. Fortunately it was too long before the play stopped rain and we were all sat around a roaring campfire swapping jokes and laughing ourselves sick. Early on I had fixed up some bananas with chocolate buttons in them, they were placed on the hot embers to melt the chocolate, to be honest the one I had needed more chocolate and a little longer in the fire, but never mind, I know for next time. There were also toasted marsh melons, one of my faves. The evening drew on and we had a chance to see the ISS as it went over plus a few other satellites. The beer flowed well and then the port was opened. This is the best part of any camp fire, a group of good friends, a warm fire and a bottle of port or four definitely warms the cockles. To top the evening off nicely we were regaled with the tale of a rather impertinent bunny by the name of Foo Foo, booze, bonfires and bunnies. Could the night get any better? Well considering I was with a group of some of my closest friend, and my two best girls, Trudes and Molly Popples were there, no, I don’t think it could. Eventually the fire died and we retired to our beds.

Sunday morning I was gently woken up by the missus taking photos of, what she described as, a giant caterpillar, the cheeky madam! Realising she meant me I let her take some more pics. Then I spotted my pup outside my section of the tent, I called to her and she came bounding in for big loves and cuddles. I grabbed another half and hours doze and then I slipped Molly in with Tea and headed off for a quick fish, this actually turned out to be a quick sit and watch Dave catching fish every ten seconds whilst my bait got ignored. After an hour I headed back to the camp to fix Molly breakfast and collect her morning jab. Once my pup was sorted, I went back to the pond for a bit more humiliation, sorry, fishing. This took up an hour or two, just as Dave left he mentioned that there were some large fish near the part of the pond he was walking past so I thought I’d have give it a go. My idea paid off and I caught the biggest fish I’d seen since we arrived, I was chuffed. Then off for some nosh and to see how my girls were. It turned out that Tea wasn’t aware that Molly Pops had been with her for the morning because the little angel didn’t to disturb her momma so she kept really quiet so that mom could sleep, ain’t she a sweetie?

Breakfast was followed by more fishing which was over all too soon as the weather turned nasty and the rain and the wind returned. Chris had arrived whilst I was up at the pond, and I spoke to him about the possibility of running us home, he was more than happy to do this. So at 17:30 we set back to Folkestone. The main reason we had to return was due to the fact that a friend from Northshire was visiting, although we did toy with telling him that he’d be on his own, but return we did.

It transpired that it was a god thing after all as Molly stated being sick just after midnight and carried on throughout the night. By Monday morning she was not at all in a good way, as I write this it is 19:30 on the 31st of August and our precious little pup is in the pet hospital in Ashford being looked after by the wonderful vets and nurses of the Barrow Hill surgery hospital. All we can do now is wait and hope for the best, fortunately our Molly’s a fighter, but I’m sure a healing thought would help so please any you may have spare for our little girl. I’ve spent most of today worried sick and blubbing like a blubby thing.

My friend Karen took us up to the hospital, as a thank you we treated her to lunch and then met up with Teas young man to take him to see a film, this had been arranged before we went camping, and as we weren’t expecting Molly’s health to take a turn for the worse, we couldn’t let him down, and since I was a complete wreck, Trudes suggested that I stay with them and see the film. We saw the Last Airbender, whilst it’s a good film, one of the funniest lines has got to be “I’ve always known you were a bender!” closely followed by “you’re a bender?” Well I sniggered and I think Trudes did too. She missed the last few minutes as she missed a call from the vets and had to call them back.

Molly is suffering from something called Diabetic ketoacidosis, hopefully we’ve caught it early enough and she will be home with us soon.

So an eventful weekend that could have ended a little better but these things happen and I’m looking forward to have Molly cuddles very soon. I’ll keep those who want to know how Molly Pops is doing either here or through Facebook.