whatever you do, don’t fall asleep

Hello my little treacle tarts, Sunday was quiet, didn’t do a great deal, had a brief sortie into town to shop in ASBO, sorry ASDA. I’m really disappointed with Folkestone’s shoplifting centre. Aside from the supermarket, there are eight food outlets, I think there are more places to eat and drink in Folkestone the actual shops. So after a fruitless browse I headed home, where I spent a couple of hours catching up on bones and lie to me. Then up to the OH’s for Doctor Who. I really enjoyed it; it was tense and a good old fashioned Dr Who story. Although I thought the end was just a bit daft and a bit sad. At first I thought Adelaide was going to shoot the doc, I never expected what happened. I’m really looking forward to the next two episodes.

Whilst I was at work today I got a call from the shop, Sue told me that a mutual friend had been taken to east Grinstead burns hospital after his house had been all but destroyed by fire, poor bugger; I really hope he’s as ok as possible. Sadly the news Sue had was not good, so I wish him a speedy recovery and hope he’s back on his feet soon.

Work’s been fairly good this week, although I was running around like a thing possessed today. I think the guys had been given blue smarties and cheap cola again today. I’m having trouble grasping the fact that tomorrow’s Thursday, it felt like a Thursday today so lord only knows what the real Thursday’s going to be like. I hope it’s not as bad as today. Roll on Friday!

I can’t believe the prudishness, is that a word? of some people. Apparently eight people have complained about the M&S advert, the one with Philip Glenister says something like “bring on the girl prancing around in her underwear” well it’s been cut. I ask you! What could anyone find offensive in that. They can broadcast adverts with girlies frolicking around in their knickers and no one bats an eyelid, but as soon as it’s pointed out that there’s cute lass doing it folk get all PC and start moaning. So no more girlie prancing, BAH HUMBUG! Even the misses is miffed. Still there are the famous grouse adverts to come, I like those. No one can find anything offensive in them.

Got some mates coming down on Saturday to carry out some much needed work on the house, I’m total rubbish at that sort of thing. I have to have a good sort out of the kitchen so as it’s presentable as possible, and I have to go shopping, again, to buy stuff for a lasagne, these hard working types need feeding, and plenty of milk, tea and sugar. I may not know one end of a paint brush from the other, but I do know how to make a decent cuppa. I think the guys at the shop are starting to think I’ve quit, I haven’t been down there for a month. The last time I was there I unleashed the full fury of the chapter Aurelius upon the mechanical menace that is Necron, my Necrons, suffice to say the 9^th were victorious, claiming an early victory with the destruction of the Necron Monolith, and then it was a simple case of cleaning up the remaining forces. I really must get on with the painting of the rest of my models. I want to start fielding the Tau. Lots of other players have said that the Tau are bit rubbish, but I have plans. [Insert evil laugh type thing here] I’m not sure it would be appreciated if sat painting miniatures on Saturday, Tee hee.

I’ve had a go at recreating a picture that I created many years ago using software called Deluxe Paint on my old Amiga. Tea very sweetly bought me some proper drawing pencils and a sketch pad. I’ve done a preliminary sketch, whilst I’m not confident I’m going to give it my best effort. It’s strange how you never use something and think to yourself “it’s time to get rid of it” and when it’s gone you really miss it. I loved my Amiga, I miss frontier and I really miss deluxe paint. I’m not even sure I still have the disks that the pictures I’d created are on, which is a shame really as there were some really good pics, even if I do say so myself. If and when the drawing’s finished I’ll put a photo of it on the blog.

No major interest in the ghost hunting thing yet, a few of my friends have said they’d be up for it, so I’m going to have a look round for some possible venues and sort out dates and get a “team” together for a trial run. I want to stick to the Kent area to start with, ideally somewhere that’s easily accessible by train or bus. So I’m off to do a bit of research.

Fare thee well my little mince pies, and bear in mind that as of 18/11/09 there’s only 36 day to Christmas. Woo hoo; bring on the turkey, stuffing, roast spuds, carrots, sprouts, gravy, Christmas pud, mince pies, tree, tinsel, lights. Satsuma’s, nuts, crackers with stupid jokes and crappy novelties in them, in fact all things Christmassy. Yay! :o)

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

there’s a hole in my mind, and three days seem to have fallen into it!

A bit of a gap since my last entry, the astronomy talk went well, and the visit from the sister wasn’t anywhere near as bad as my WTB had built it up to be, Oh how I chuckled. Had a standard Sunday, quiet and restrained. Had doctor who to look forward to and the new series of top gear. I have to say that I enjoyed tonight’s episode, I’m going to miss David Tennant as the doc, I’ve really enjoyed his run. I really hope that matt smith does well in the role. As for top gear, what can I say but excellent stuff, as usual, I know a great many people dislike the program and its main presenter, but it’s something that I find entertaining, more so than talentless numpties howling into a microphone, except, of course, Stacey. Her rendition of “who wants to live forever” was phenomenal.

Not much occurring on the health front, I have no idea if any of the meds I’m on are actually doing anything. all I really know is that the side effects are NOT good, it's a bit worrying that stuff that supposed to help you recover makes you feel so bloody awful at times. On the other hand I shouldn't moan really, there are folk I know that are much worse off health wise than me so I guess I should count my blessings. But this is my blog thing so ner!

Well that’s it for now; I’ve run out of stuff to write about, I guess I need the French to misbehave so that I have something to rant about.

Ta ta.

You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here!

It’s been a good couple of days, tonight I spent the evening prepping a model that I’m painting for a friend. The model’s a war mumak for the Lord of the Rings table top wargame, those not familiar with the films; a mumak is a huge elephant like beastie with lots of big tusks. It’s the thing that Legolas kills only to be told “that still counts as one!” by Gimli. It’s a beautiful model, with a lot of detail. I’m only doing the main beastie and the howdah, which I’m pleased about. Lord of the rings miniatures are slightly smaller than the standard 40k models, and having never painted any I don’t really fancy cutting my teeth on someone else’s models. I have the mines of Moria boxed game which includes the fellowship. I’m looking forward to painting them, even if they only end up as display pieces. I’ve always wanted to paint the fellowship, Gandalf in particular. I also really like the model for Sam, he’s holding a frying pan as if he’s about to lump someone or something with it. If I only buy one more model from the lord of the rings range, it has to be the Balrog. The figure is probably one of the best in the range. The only set back I can see with the Balrog is that it’s a metal model. Whilst metal figures are extremely well detailed, they are notorious for going together, lots of pinning and buckets of super glue.

Friday night is alternate plans, instead of the usual Friday night shenanigans,, I shall be attending the local scout group as part of their astronomy evening, should be fun, astronomy twice this month, yay.

I have tomorrow (Wednesday) off work, I’m still getting up early as my littlest mate is off to see the doctor in the morning, he’s having an operation which will stop him marking his territory and should also calm him down a little bit, in a way I don’t really want him calm, I like the fact that he’s a little bit bonkers. Every time I get home he bounces around the room until I sit down, and then he comes up for major fussing. It’s odd that I never really liked small dogs, but DTWP is the second little chap to win me over. The first was a lovely little fella called biscuit, and if I’m honest, I miss that fella.

Well enough of my ramblings for tonight, I shall update when something interesting happens.

Via con dios

there are 2 goldfish in a tank, one fish looks at the other and says “so, do you know how to drive this thing?”

It’s the weekend, huzzah! It started off in the usual fashion, an evening of D&D with the lads, pizza and booze, them not me, I don’t drink that heavily. This morning saw my return to the shop for the Warhammer 40k group. I got a bit annoyed with a couple of the lads today. It seems that one of them was unhappy with the fact that he was losing, so he started messing around with the other lad’s miniatures. Hiding them and then messing around with the ones that were still on the table. It resulted in a model being “lost”. Now I know that the majority of my readers will have no idea what I’m prattling on about. Miniatures are the most important part of the game. People spend hours building, painting and converting their models. There’s a lot of work that goes into each and every model that gets painted, personally I take pride in my completed models. I’ve painted hundreds of models over the years, and I may be bragging a bit when I say that my painting skills are above average, not to the standard of Citadels finest painters, but I’ve been told by a few people that my work is on the right side of good. I am starting to get worried with the fact that one of the lads who comes to the shop, and claims he can’t paint, and then he proceeds to show me the most amazing painted models I’ve seen in a long while. Anyways, I’ve digressed a bit so back on track. What really annoyed me about the “lost” model is that the dad of the boy that owned the lost model has spent many hours painting his sons miniatures and has read books, watched videos on YouTube and chatted with professional painters at GW. His work is incredible, even more impressive by the fact that he’s been painting for a few months. I put a lot of effort into the Saturday war gaming group, and I also put a lot of trust in the lads that come along. I get really annoyed when that trust is abused. I’m fairly certain that if the situation were reversed and one of the little snots who are responsible for the loss were to “lose” one of theirs, then mummy or daddy would be in the shop demanding the issue be addressed and put right. I often reinforce to the lads that they need to watch their stuff, and keep their hands off the other guy’s models. I know that if any of my models were to go missing there would be hell to pay.

So next Saturday I have to get all authoritarian and inform the culprit that unless the model is returned and he learns to leave other peoples things alone, he will no longer be able to game at the shop.

I’m going to have to go to the shop on the 14^th for just that purpose. My sister’s coming down from Birmingham in the afternoon, so I’ll have to get back before she turns up. The missus is a little nervous about meeting her. I think she’s worried about what my sister will think of her. I’ve tried to explain to my betrothed that she won’t be bothered about judging her, as long as we’re happy and work out, that’s all she’ll be concerned about.

It’s now Saturday evening and I’m listening to/watching A Knights Tale, blooming good flick. Tomorrow I shall head home to feed my super mogs, and catch up on some of the stuff that I’ve recorded over the last week. Not sure what’s happening Sunday evening, I know that I need to head up to Canterbury for some Nag Champa and a bit of browsing, hopefully my fiancé will be able to tag along. It’s been a while since we had an outing, and I did feel particularly proud having her most royal gorgeousness hanging on my arm.

On the health front I’m trying to slowly change the diet and start eating healthier, I had chicken salad for lunch today. Oh joy! I ate green stuff, GREEN STUFF! Then there’s the meds, they’re not good, wind is the main problem, I’m getting terrible farts. Another problem is the fact that I need to pee every ten minutes, this can be quite annoying when you’re sat at a workstation trying to paint models that are just over an inch and a half tall and have the tiny intricate details that only a war gamer can appreciate. There’s a couple of pieces to accompany this entry so that my doing readers can see my work, and, may haps, comment on them.

 

 

So that’s it for this instalment, I hope your weekend is fruitful and relaxifying.

May the gods watch over you!

Ttfn

sometimes, I am a lion, other times I’m a Christian!

Just when I thought I was going to write a second rant free blog, about a week and a half ago I went for a glucose tolerance test, on Monday I got a letter from the surgery asking me to see the nurse. I made an appointment and this morning I pootled along to see nursey. The long and the short of it is that I have type 2 diabetes, not the end of the world, I know, but it’s going to have a major effect on my day to day living. The annoying thing is that products designed for people with medical conditions that require special dietary needs are so expensive. Surely they should be cheaper, no wheat, gluten, dairy or sugar. Maybe it costs more to process cardboard. Just discovered coke zero tastes horrid! Then there’s the medication, don’t get me wrong, I know beyond any doubt that there are people much worse off than me, there are people who are on meds that really do keep them alive. But I swear that when I head off to work in the morning, I’m going to rattle. Still, one up side of this is that I qualify for med exemption, which means that I no longer have to pay for prescriptions, which, considering that the one I got today cost the better part of 30 quid, bloody hell!

Still it’s going to be fun finding healthy recipes and stuff; hopefully I can use this to work on weight loss, and then maybe I’ll look dead sexy in the suit I wear to my wedding. One of my close friends said to me today, “turn the negative into a positive” and I’m sure that with the support of my spectacularly brilliant fiancé, things won’t be as hard as I imagine them to be. The worse thing about all this is the cutting down on sweet stuff. As my closest mates know, I have a very sweet tooth, I quite happily spend four or five quid on pick n mix at the cinema, and I have a passion for cakes and confections, I haven’t met a dessert I didn’t like.

So, dear reader, I’m afraid that this could become a bit of an “oh woe is me” thing for a while, but bear with me and we’ll soon have normal service resumed.

Thanks to Manky for the lead on the ghost hunting, a good site indeed, more to come on that as soon as I get chance to carry out a bit of research.

So that’s all for now.

When life throws you lemons, make lemonade!

Ta ta!

Also… I can kill you with my brain.

Well there seems to be a fair bit of interest in a paranormal investigation group, so I guess a trip to the library is needed, I also need to work on a constitution of sorts. I guess the other thing we’ll need is a venue for a regular meeting and some places to investigate. I expect that there’s a club that’s put their constitution online so I can adapt theirs.

Something that I’ve been asked to do is give an astronomy talk for one of the local scout groups, could be fun. I’ve had a look at what they need me to cover, it shouldn’t be too difficult. I’ll start putting some notes and slides together and getting some posters to put up. I’m quite looking forward to doing it. If I get stuck, I can always call on the members of AAS for help, in other words put manky on standby, what with him having experience with the scouts and stuff.

I also need to look online for things like EMF readers, I have a rough idea on price, sadly they’re not cheap, and with saving for my forthcoming nuptials, I need every penny that comes my way.

At some point over the next week or two, T and I have to visit the local registry office to book the date for the wedding. at the moment I’m not worried or nervous about it, but ask me again closer to the date, the answer may be different. I have my half of the guest list pretty much sorted. We have a rough idea of where we want to have the reception and we even have the entertainment more or less sorted. So that leaves the wedding itself, the catering and the time between the wedding and the reception to work out. There was mention of a sit down meal for immediate family and close friends. But I think that financially that’s going to be difficult. Unless, of course, we can convince Tiamat to contribute in some way. I’m probably gonna get a slap for that last comment. Still if the old battleaxe asks what we’d like as a gift, we could always suggest it, she can only say yes or no, and I’m quite good at dodging fireballs.

So my missions for the week are, in no particular order! 1. Find out how I go about advertising for the formation of a paranormal research group. 2. Get to the registry office and find out how much a wedding is gonna cost. 3. Write the talk for the scouts.

Not too much of a challenge.

Well there you have it, my first rant free blog, even the comment about the dragon queen was fairly well restrained by my standards. So I shall leave you to ponder the workings of the universe and recover from the shock of reading a blog from me that doesn’t end up a venomous tirade of anti-something.

Ta ta dear reader, fair thee well.

holy mother of god and all her wacky nephews

I’ve always liked TV. In the halcyon days of my youth it was a medium of escape. There were programs about people running away and fighting a tyrannical federation, one about a bloke who lived in a blue box that travelled through time and space. There was one about a group of teenagers who had special powers and belts that they used to get from one place to another. Now it seems that we have programs where the main idea is to screw people over, shows that only seem to bring out the worst in people, and so called talent shows. I hate the X Factor, the quicker the population realise that the whole thing’s fixed and they’ve already decided who’s going to win, the quicker it’ll be off our screens. People moan about wrestling being predetermined, well duh, it’s a given. It’s not so much the outcome of the match that matters, but the fight itself. You have to appreciate the athleticism and the skill involved. At least wrestling doesn’t have stupid phone in votes that mean jack, the way I see wrestling is soap with Tom & Jerry violence. People stop paying Simon Cowell's mortgage, don’t phone in. If the country stopped voting they’d have to stop fixing it. They took Primeval off because ITV said that they wanted to devote more time to drama. What drama? So far there’s been one episode of Midsommer Murders, on a Wednesday; the rest of the week has been filled with mindless crap. Whatever happened to world of survival or strange but true? I like documentaries, programs that make you think, or show you how small we really are on this little blue and green marble. I also like to be entertained, but I don’t find things like X Factor entertaining, all right there’s the odd fit bird that’s a bit easy on the eye being all wiggly. But I wouldn’t rush home on a Saturday night to watch it.

I’m much chuffed for my mate Manky who is now an official world record holder; he took part in the world’s largest time warp on Saturday, well done him. Friday night I went along to the astronomy club. I took Al along with me. I think he enjoyed it, Drew did a terrific talk about the autumn constellations and the place was packed, Astrobash really did some good. I WILL attend next years. On Saturday night I was due to attend a ghost hunt at a pub in Essex, unfortunately the event was cancelled. I was a disappointed as I was really looking forward to it, but I’ve been assured that I’m top of the list for the next one. I’ve been thinking about starting up a paranormal investigation group for a while now. Kent has more than its fair share of, allegedly, haunted locations. I think the hardest thing about it would be finding a medium. Particularly as I’m very sceptical about them. Maybe I should advertise in the local library to see if I can find folk that would also be interested. Hmmmmm, mission for the week maybe? Getting it off the ground shouldn’t be too hard, mentioned it on facebook and twitter, so now I sit back and watch folk take the piss or show genuine interest. I wonder which I’ll get more of. I’ll update in my next entry.

Right that’s about it for now, if you’re reading this, live in Kent and think, hmm, I’d be interested in help this fella start a paranormal investigation society, leave a contact e-mail in a comment and I’ll get back to you. If you actually know me, then contact me through phone or e-mail. You never know, running around buildings looking for evidence of supernatural activity could even be fun.

Until next time, don’t have nightmares!

Walk tall and carry a big stick!

When I planned to blog today, I had every intention of this entry being rant free and almost xenophobic free. Ah well the best laid plans of mice and men and all that.

The first rant is seriously unPC, so if you have a liking for frogs’ legs, whiffy cheese and are highly skilled at running away screaming wah blub I want my mama! Then I wouldn’t read any further.

Right then, you have been warned. Apparently the folk across the channel have decided that the problems in Calais are the responsibility of the British people. Their view point is that because the immigrants are trying to get to England, England should deal with them. It seems French are simply trying to pass the buck, nothing new there then. The buck was passed in 1914-18, again in 1939-45. In fact whenever there’s been a conflict of any sort the French have always been on the rear line, the yellow lines down their backs clearly displayed. In fact, if you check the history books, the only time the French have been able to legitimately claim a victory was the French revolution (1789–99) the reason for the victory? They were fighting the french. Of course the french have grown a pair over the last few years, their dock workers go on strike for almost any reason they can find. In fact if they were told that some bloke had got a splinter opening a box of matches they’d be all out. The last strike was amusing. There was some silly bugger in a rowing boat paddling around in circles in the harbor; this prevented the ferries getting in and out of the port. Now hang on just a mo, rowing boat v ferry? I know where I’d put my money. Ginormous bloody ferry, tiny little wooden boat. The choice is simple, get out my way or you’re swimming home! Sorry mate but Calais is not Sovereign soil, well not since 1358 anyway, so the problem lies with the country of origin. It’s a bit like your next door neighbour’s dog running riot in your other neighbour’s garden and you’re expected to sort it out. That really wouldn’t happen. So instead of plonking men in little boats and causing disruption because your mops aren’t big enough, sort out the issues with the poor saps living in poverty, hoping that they can get a better life on the other side of the channel, and give them some sort of decent environment. Our problem indeed!

Part two is not so much a rant, more a chance for me to express my regret over a decision that has been made by someone I care deeply for. Yesterday I got a text from an ex suggesting that we meet up for a coffee after I finished work. To be honest something wasn’t sitting right. We haven’t spoken properly for about six years, so for her to, out of the blue, say she wants to meet up and have pally type chats. In all honesty it wasn’t as bad as I’d been expecting. The reason for the get together was to say that she was not happy with the thought of her son, who I raised for over nine years, being best man at my wedding. it was pointed out that he’d said that he wasn’t keen on the idea. She was also unhappy with the thought of him coming with me for an evening out to celebrate the end of my days as a bachelor. However, whilst sat drinking coffee, she was talking to a friend about whether or not he’ll be able to get into a bar on Saturday night, double standards me thinks! So I have some serious thinking to do. To be honest the primary thought in my head is, do I need a best man? To be honest I think that no matter what choice I make, I’ll put someone’s nose out of joint. So I wonder if it’s best not to. So that’s about it, apart from a particularly crappy day at work. Still maybe I’m another entry closer to a rant free blog, although I somehow doubt it.

Peace and long life!

yes this land is good, and we shall call it, this land

I read the news today, oh boy! There’s a song in there somewhere!

The particular news article I read was in a paper that has initials that are an anagram of “nowt”. It concerned Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Seconds reaction to the appearance of the leader of the BNP on question Time. Now I want to clear something up, I am NOT a nationalist; I have a strong sense of national pride and consider myself a loyal patriot. Yes, I hold certain xenophobic views and there have been times when I have been angry at the way the this country is being abused by the European state, it’s as if The United Kingdoms are used as a dumping ground for every other countries problems.

My view is that our heritage is being stripped away from us piece by piece, and that as a free Englishman, I have a right to be proud of my country’s achievements. There are so many things that we can’t do because it may offend someone somewhere. During the celebrations of the fiftieth anniversary of the Queens ascension to the throne, my sister was asked to remove the Union Flag from her window. Initially she declined to do so on the grounds that she was displaying her pride in the Queen. The first reason for her being asked to take the flag down was because some of her neighbours had complained, when she said tough, she was told that the flag was placed illegally. Because her house is not an official royal residence or government building and also so not on an approach road to a royal residence, she had to take it down. There’s also a £60 fine if you have the Union Flag or the Cross of St George on you vehicles number plate. The European Union symbol of 12 yellow stars on a blue background is permitted however.

Anyway, on to the main reason for my post, I fully agree with certain views regarding the BNP, in particular the fact that they are a bunch of idiotic morons who like nothing more than to use racism as a weapon, 60 years ago this nation fought against a group of people who held similar views. They’ve adopted one of the greatest leaders this country had as a symbol, claiming that had the BNP existed in the 1940’s the Churchill would have been a member, well the BNP did exist then, it was called English National Association, during WWII it was accused of fascist sympathies. There was a second BNP from 1960 to 67 the party was formed by the merger of the National Labour Party and the White Defense League, two political splinter groups from the League of Empire Loyalists pressure group. It disbanded after disastrous election results in 1966 when it was one of the parts of the newly formed National Front, which the current BNP was formed as a splinter group of. So it’s clear that in the past the BNP has been based either fascist views or right wing white supremacists. I don’t believe that’s what this country stands for. Most of the indigenous peoples of this island nation are descended from one of the few successful invaders, so whilst I rant on about my Englishness I know without doubt that I have Celtic blood in my veins, so there could also be Norse blood in there too. So who has the right to say does and does not have the right to hold a British passport, I believe that’s down to the individual.

If, in the extremely unlikely event, the BNP gain real power in this country, I believe it will be they who bring this nation down, not the people they stand against. On Question time, the leader of the BNP said that the show should not have been broadcast from London as he does not view our nation’s capital as a British city, in that respect he’s correct, London is the capital of England and the United Kingdoms, Edinburgh is the capital of Scotland, Cardiff is the capital of Wales and Belfast is the capital of northern Ireland. There is no British capital. Britain derives from the roman term “Britannia” referring to the Roman province covering much of the island. In respect of the comment of London not being a British capital, for several hundred years now, London has been a melting pot of cultures, either those that were under sovereign rule, or those that have been welcomed across our borders. To be honest, if the government were to remove all foreign nationals from our shores, the country would lose over 50% of its population. And it would be very boring.

So what I feel we should do is start a campaign to remove the influence of the BNP over this great nation of ours.

By the way, if you’re reading this and you support the BNP and you feel the need to pass negative or derogatory comments, please direct them to: I’m a complete numpty who supports the Big Numpty Party.com because, in all honesty, your opinion doesn’t matter!

You cant take the sky from me!

Hello there, it’s been a few days since my last post, I’d love to be able to say that this one’s gonna be rant free, but sadly not today. Well not for the most part anyway! The first thing I’m ripping into is something I read about in one of the daily papers, apparent a south American national has been permitted to remain in the country even though his visa is four years out of date, why is he allowed to stay? Because he has a cat! Apparently the fact that he and his girlfriend provide a home for a moggie is reason enough to prove that he is entitled to stay in the country. This is ridiculous!, does this now mean that I can go out, rob a bank hand myself in and then say that I can’t be sent down because I have a cat? Of course not, I’d go to clink for the crime, they’d make an example of me, of course if I had two dozen children and said that I no speeky englis, then not only would I not go to prison, but I’d be given extensive free counselling, a new home and money to spend. Oh yeah, and cat food. So now it appears that all you have to do in order to gain “asylum” in England is have a cat! So everyone from kamikazestan is going to rush out and buy a cat.

My second rant is about a religious nutter who is calling for her majesty to convert to Islam, he also says that this country doesn’t need a general election, what it needs is an Islamic revolution. What I want to know is if these people hate us so much, why the smeg are they living here? Of course, I know the answer, money! And, oh yeah, they can express their views without fear of retribution, because being the nation that we are, an unwritten constitutional monarchy, subjects of Her Majesty have the right to freedom of speech. A person can stand up and say whatever they want whenever they want and not be imprisoned for expressing those views. Unless of course, a religious or political nutter takes offence to what you have to say. I can see me getting into trouble for this entry.

Finally I would like to express my deepest respects to a young lady who despite terrible injuries chose to appear publicly for the first time since the horrible attack on her to talk about what happened to her. This young lass is extremely brave and I would like to wish her every success for her future. Although I’m sure that sympathy is something she now has in abundance, I believe that this girl has balls of steel; I hope her story will empower others who have sustained injuries similar to hers. And I say this to her, despite the fact that she’ll probably never read this. “You are an amazing young lady who has been through the worst and come out strong, remain strong and someone is watching over you. Bless your beautiful heart!”

So that’s the rant over, some will probably see it as racist but it’s not, I love this country, I’m proud to be English. I’m proud that we open our borders to those in need. What I dislike are those who exploit that open door for personal gain.

That’s it for now; there will be a rant free entry at some point, so keep reading. And remember, you can’t stop the signal!

Toodles!

Ha ha ha! Mine is an evil laugh! Now DIE!

So here we are, half way through the week and so far so good, well sort of. I had a visit to the doctors today. Apparently it’s not good, my blood pressure’s back up, it was 150 over 104 so I’m back in the exploding head area again. He also told me that my liver’s not great, my cholesterol’s 4.9, apparently 0.8 of that is good the rest, not so good. I have to get the 0.8 up to at least 1, ideally 1.5. The big news is that after the blood test I had last week, it seems that there’s a 90% chance that I have type 2 diabetes. The doc said that it’s relatively easy to control with diet (I shall now go and wash my mouth out!) and meds. Fortunately it’s tablets not injections. The one bit of good news is that it can go away. With a bit of weight loss I can rid myself of the liver problem, the high blood pressure and diabetes. However, the doctor did say that he’s only had one other patient with the same condition as me who got it all sorted. Now there’s a challenge! I have another blood test at the end of October to confirm the diabetes, such fun.

Work’s been hectic so far, lots of good challenges to keep me on my toes, I enjoy the challenges that work throws up, they can be fun. Most of them are easily dealt with but we should never have gotten rid of the shower.

Two days of work left and only 71 days until Christmas, woo hoo! It can’t come quick enough, mince pies, Christmas pud, turkey, sprouts, crackers and pressies, I love getting pressies. I also love seeing the looks on other people’s faces when they open their pressies and get something they’ve really wanted. Another thing I look forward to is the works Christmas meal. It’s really nice to sit with the team and not be all sensible and growed up. I can, metaphorically speaking, let my hair down. It’s been 6 years since I had my long hair cut, so letting my hair down is a bit difficult these days. But this year I may have a glass or two of JD and coke. That’ll shock ‘em, sensible old me drinking JD. Makes a change from southern comfort, especially as there aren’t many places that have Irn Bru available, and the choice of ales is a bit limited. I shall have to check out this year’s venue to see what’s and tap.

Speaking of metaphors, apparently my mother’s become one! My bonkers sister has moved her from the oil lamp, don’t ask, and put her in the cemetery, about time too! I bet she was getting a bit ripe by now! Mad sisters, I have three of them! My one, and I use the term lightly, sane sister phoned today, asking if there are any further wedding plans, I told the provisional date, she asked if she and her hubby were invited, silly moo! I have to have at least one member of my more than slightly unhinged family there. I just hope that we can manage more than the usual hour a year that we see each other for, bless ‘er!

Good grief, this was almost a moan free entry, I’m shocked my own self! Still there’s always next time. So until then

Qapla! May your path to Sto-vo-Kor be problem free!

Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?

Sunday, the day of rest, a day for a lay in and lazing in front of the telly. Lay in? Check! Laze in front of the telly? Check! All I needed to make my Sunday complete was a full English, it’s been years since I last had a full English, it’s been a while since I had a proper Sunday lunch too. When the OH reads this, she’s gonna think I’m hinting at something. Spoke with other parties involved in the incident with the dragon today. The OH doesn’t feel very vindicated but the dragon can’t satiated by words or deeds, she’s only satisfied by the misery of others. I can picture it ending the conversation and having a broad grin on its snout. Still on to better things. I saw some photos from my half brothers wedding today; Tea thinks that my father and I look very alike, now there’s a scary thought. My brothers looked very smart and my brother’s new wife looked stunning. I wish them eternal happiness together. It seems odd to me that I have a family I’ve never met. Two brothers and a sister, I know very little about them. I do know that Jeff and I have a liking for sci-fi, horror and comic books. At one point he was writing his own, I’d like to know how he got on with that. I’ve met my step mum, albeit about ten years ago, and over the last 39 years I’ve spent a grand total of 2 days with my father. I don’t resent this but I would love the chance to get know them a bit better. The one thing I do resent is that my father doesn’t appear to acknowledge the existence of me or my sisters. On a certain social site he lists that he has three children when in fact it’s 8.

I need to get in touch with my boy to discuss the wedding arrangements with him. I’ve also told the ex of the forth coming event. I was pleasantly surprised; I was sort of expecting her reaction to be along the lines of “why are you telling me this?” but in fact she said she was very pleased and happy for me. She’s also going to tell her mum and sister. So I don’t think there’s anyone left to tell, save for a few friends who I rarely see, but considering the rarity of them I probably won’t tell them.

Work tomorrow and a week of new challenges, one challenge in particular is finding my watch! I haven’t seen it since Friday. On the subject of watches, I’ve seen the next one, the rather sexy Storm mkII circuit. It’s fantastic; it’s the natchy one in the picture. Sexy isn’t it!

So that’s it for the now, unless, of course, something dead exciting happens, like alien abduction or proof of life after death. Or me seeing someone bludgeoned to within an inch of the life with a block of cheese.

So loyal viewers, I leave you with this thought, if a tree falls over, and no one’s there to hear it, does it make a noise?

Just when they think they know all the answers, I change the questions.

  As another week closes on us and we prepare for the weekend, I was shocked to learn that due to the “baggage” I carry, I’m considered to be a “lame duck”! According to definition a “lame duck” is someone who is weak or falls behind in ability or achievement. Weak? Hmmmmm, there are things about myself that will NEVER be mentioned in this blog, not because I’m ashamed of them, quite the opposite in fact! Also because I have no intention of talking publicly about it. My closest friends and my OH know about most of it, the OH knows a little more than most. My future in-laws are also aware of my “issues”. As said in earlier entries, the one thing that really ticks me off is people who judge a person, without even knowing them. I don’t just mean me, given my chosen career, I see a lot of incidents where people assume that a person has no ability to react or respond for themselves. I like to refer to it as the “does he take sugar?” syndrome. Yet again someone has made a snap decision based on insufficient knowledge. In actual fact, none at all. I can be loud, lary, annoying and somewhat thoughtless. But who has the right to base their view of someone after what amounts to less than ten minutes in their company. When considering what I do to earn my crust, one of the most important skills is reading people, I can recognise signs that a person is about to lose their temper, I can work out how bad it’s going to be. I can make a fair assessment of a person disposition towards others. But with all the training I have, I still need a couple of hours minimum before I have even a basic idea of someone’s character. However, a short while ago I met someone who is not only unattractive on the outside, but inside as well. The word “dragon” doesn’t even begin to sum up how vile this woman is. I’m not easily bothered by people, some make me uneasy, once in a while they scare the be-jesus out of me. Well this old crone was the latter. She seems to have the opinion, “I’m not happy, why should any other so & so be?” a sad old battle axe, who likes nothing more than bringing others down. Sadly there’s a possibility that our paths will cross again, if that happens and she tries to bring any of my loved ones down, or push them around, she’ll be told that she will not be welcome in our lives. I’ve slain dragons before, they’re no big threat. All you need to know is what colour dragon has what type of breath weapon. For instance a red dragon has fire as a breath weapon, so when facing such a beastie you simply need to carry lots of things that protect you from fire. So, as they say, forewarned is forearmed, and I am prepared for this particular dragon. I’ve sharpened my greatsword +5 v dragons, I’ve polished my red dragon skin armour and I have a ring of fire protection and the OH has a big hose. So when this old wyrm awakens, she’s getting it in the craw, from me and her neice.

Friday night was the usual RPG night, well that’s not entirely accurate, Tea gave me a bottle of Jack Daniels to pass on to Lord Oli, and on the way home I stopped in the shop and picked up some coke and some lemonade as I didn’t know what Lord Oli mixed with it, turned out to be coke. Anyhoo there was only about ten minutes of D&D played before Lord Oli opened the bottle. By the end of the evening I’d had four, yes four, glasses of JD and coke, using Lord Oli measures, but before I went to bed I had to have a bottle of Doom Bar, my favourite ale. The other cool thing about Friday night was the fact that our usual pizza suppliers are, once again, doing buy one get one free on large pizzas. HOO RAH! So two large pepperoni and mushroom pizzas, with extra cheese, were winging their way to us. Oh sweet lord!

Saturday has been shop day, slightly hectic and I think the lads had been on too much sugar again, oh joy. But on the whole the day was good and the lads were, as usual, fairly well behaved. I saw an old friend and told her the news of my forth coming nuptials; she was very pleased and suggested that I should let my ex know. I’m not too sure how that will go down so I’m giving it some thought; I’ll keep you posted on that.

At the end of day, I had a couple of errands to run, most of which involved ambling around Waitrose, cat food, milk, sugar and a couple of other bits. As I was leaving the cigarette counter area was fairly crowded and I had to squeeze through, as I did I knocked some fella with my backpack, so lightly may I add that I didn’t even notice, anyways I heard this fella say “yeah Thanks” as I passed him so I figured I must have knocked him, so being the polite well mannered young chap I am, I apologised. Blokeys response was “yeah, well, apology accepted!” the tone in his voice was one of contempt, as if he was doing me a favour, so as I walked away from him, he was a bit on the stunty side btw, I replied “oh thank you so much, I feel so honoured” “you f**king well should be!” he retorted, he must have learned that snappy come back at school. Definitely suffering from short man syndrome. Being a bit miffed with his attitude, and obviously the better man I simply suggested that he “shut up”, childish I know but I didn’t want to lower myself to his level. Like the old saying goes, never argue with an idiot, they’ll bring you down to their level then beat you with experience! I bashed the fella, I said sorry, he started giving me attitude, I guess I bruised his itty bitty ego, cock!

So it’s now Saturday night and I’m settling down with my fiancée and watch bones, lie to me and life on mars USA. Lie to me could cause a problem as the OH isn’t too keen on Tim Roth. Oh well says I, she’s made me sit through the X sodding factor so she has to sit through some of my trite. It could be worse, I could make her sit through three hours of thundercats and gen 1 transformers. Oh just remembered, when you use a digital camera to take a photo down the top of your OH’s dress, DO NOT then pass said camera to your future step son. it does raise some interesting questions, and the little toe rag deleted it. Which is rather annoying as it was a very good picture.

That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons even death may die

Why is it that when you have a good day, it is invariably followed, almost immediately, by a not so good one? Sadly this rule does not apply in reverse, yesterday was a bit awful, what with the whole banking incident, and the fiasco that was the journey home. I thought I got on the right bus, but it turned out I was on the other one, ooooer missus! No, naughty people, not that other bus, that would be wrong! No the other bus I got on was indeed the 127, right number but wrong destination. So wrong in fact, that the gorram bus set off in the opposite direction. Now normally with local busses, for local people, when the same number goes to two different places, they go from different stops. But not the 127, oh no, it goes from the same stop for both routes. God I’m such a moaning git, whining about busses, all I needs now is an anorak, a note book and an adenoidal tone to my voice.

Any ways, on with today! It’s been shite! Well not all of it, mainly the ridiculous phone call from a company who don’t look at their own records. They damn near gave me a mahoosive coronary, I thought that all dealings with them had ceased on 2^nd October, so when I got a call staying that they hadn’t quite finished with me, that sounds so rude, I was rather shocked. So I started the call on the defensive, actually I was fuming, so the poor lass on the other end of the line copped both barrels. After some of my, now infamous, ranting to sort out the mess these idiots had created. To be honest all it really needed was for one department to contact the other, ask if they got what they were due and be done with it. Instead, however, they phone me AT WORK! Grrrrrrrr! And threaten to set the hounds upon me. So I had to do their leg work and find out when things were settled. What did I get for putting an end to this situation? Nothing, that’s right, sod all! They cause me undue stress, I’m worrying myself stupid, and with the history I have with blood pressure, worrying is not a good thing for me. A simple “oops sorry!” would have been nice. Then there’s the whole poxy laptop issues, the sodding thing’s taken me a week to put right. Knowing the owner as I do, it won’t be long before it gets bought back with more problems. I anticipate some odd problem like the screen goes black when I switch it on, or it takes ages, i.e. 37 seconds, to switch on. What does the owner expect, an instant data transfer straight into the brain stem, firstly you need a brain stem, and secondly I now truly believe that some people really are too stupid to own a computer.

On the lighter side, my boy has agreed to be my best man. A date has been set, I’m being told to sort out my side of the guest list, there’s talk of booking the registry office at the end of the month. Is it too late to changed up my mind? (Snigger, snigger, tee hee!) She’s gonna hit me when she reads that bit. My side of the list is going to be gimongous; it’s a good thing that only one my sister, her husband, her two sons and respective partners may come. Otherwise it would be a complete nightmare and I’d probably end up rowing with my youngest sister, wouldn’t that be jolly, still it’s not a proper without some form of blue!

Todays entry has been a bit meandering, so I’m gonna sign of before start writing about the acid blooded freak that is the youngest of my sisters, I’ll save that for after I’ve heard her response to the announcement of my forth coming nuptials. No doubt my old man will mention it to her at some point. So, ensign, load the mudslingers and prepare to fire!

Ta ta anonymous browser, I bid you adieu!

An apology

I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to the parties concerned in the post that appeared in my blog earlier today.

Are you familiar with the writings of Shan Yu?

He said, "Live with a man forty years. Share his house, his meals… speak on every subject… then tie him up, and hold him over the volcano's edge, and on that day, you will finally meet the man."

It is said that in order to truly know a thing, you must become that thing.

I’ve just read an article that can be viewed as a slur on the American President, whilst I’m no great fan of the good ole U S of A, I have been, thus far, impressed with Mr Obama. I know that being a significant media figure, such as he, brings both positive and negative attention. I do not agree with slighting a man who has the best interest of his country at heart. If there’s one saving grace for our colonial cousins, it’s their sense of patriotism. I, for one, understand the concept of national loyalty. It’s something I was raised on. So many people forget what it means to be English. We are an island nation, an unwritten constitutional monarchy. It really annoys me when I’m stopped in the street so that some market research numpty can ask me how I view my citizenship. My response is always the same, “I’m not a citizen, I’m a subject of her Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the Second. So now comes the rant, for which I apologise for any offence caused! Why is it that we celebrate Saint Patricks Day, Saint David’s Day and, to some extent, Saint Andrews day. But, when it comes to April 23, the powers that be hush it up and make every effort to get through the day with minimal fuss. Now I appreciate that Saint George was from Nicodemia, not a very English place, but he’s our patron saint all the same, there are also rumours amongst scholars that he may have fought alongside the French at some point. The accuracy of this is, of course, dubious at best. Now answer me this, dear reader, if you will. Why is it that a man from the northern side of Hadrian’s Wall is openly referred to as a Scotsman, if he comes from the eastern side of the Brecon Beacons, the he’s a Welshman, there’s lovely, as for the fella who resides in the republic of Ireland, he’s an Irishman. So why are those who live in England constantly termed “British”? I’m all for the commonwealth, not so keen on the whole Europe thing. But why can’t I be English? Duncan Spaeth once said “I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark.” Now he didn’t men that in a good way, but I like it. I remember the times when you drove along the M4 and saw signs that read “Windsor, heritage and Empire” the signs now read “Windsor, Legoland”. What went wrong? Where did the days go when people rose to the national anthem, how many people actually watch the Queens speech on Christmas day? I feel fairly confident when I say that more households will be more concerned with the last days of a certain Time Lord, than our own Monarch. Personally, I shall watch the Queen and record the Doctor. Our national identity is being stripped away from us piece by piece. Apparently, there’s a plan afoot to force children to take the pledge of allegiance to the queen in schools. You start forcing people to swear allegiance; you take the freedom of choice away from them. Then we are no better than those we have fought against to maintain our freedom. It’s not that I disagree with her majesty’s government, actually I have no particular political view, but they seem to be working against the people who put them there, and there I was thinking they should be working for us. A short time ago I was asked if I could live in a different country, there was a time when my answer would have been an outright “NO!” but the more I think about it, the more I feel that I’m prepared to reconsider. Given the right choices, I possibly would consider repatriation. I would, of course, keep an eye on events back home. I think the hardest thing to leave behind would be the sea. I couldn’t see myself living somewhere that was more than a ten minute bus ride from the sea.

Anyways, I’ve ranted incessantly for too long and I believe my bed is calling me, so I shall retire for the night and bid thee well. Goodnight fair reader, my you find yourself well on the morrow!

“Only a fool fights in a burning house”

I’m not a person who holds grudges, and I’m a fairly easy going kinda chap. I have been told, however, that I have a tendency to get off on the wrong footing. So in view of this, I’m prepared to wave a white flag and press the reset button. I do not want what started out as a bit of mudslinging to get out of hand. I also wasn’t happy with my own opinions. But it is said that opinions are like bottoms, everybody has one. I do not wish to make enemies and therefore I have retracted text from earlier, since this is an open blog, and all and sundry can read it I apologise for the content and context of my earlier blog. That being said, I hope that a line can be drawn under recent history and a fresh start made. So I shall take a deep breath, offer a virtual hand and hope that it is accepted for the gesture it is intended.

Let there be peace between our houses, and kinder words in the future. I wish those who have started out on a path, that I too shall soon be travelling, the best of luck and may the gods watch over their journey.

Stoopid jobsworths, a passport doesn’t have an address!

Today hasn’t been too bad. Well aside from my bank card being eaten by the evil ATM at Lloyds, Grrr! Then my bank getting shirty with me about needing to draw dosh out, but not having the right ID. So after a mad rush home to collect my passport, yes they let me out of the country from time to time, I managed to get to the bank, get the dosh and pay what I needed to, I returned to work more than a little stressed. Earlier today I received a package at work. What is this package? I hear you scream, well faithful reader, I shall tell you. The package contained my new phone. Woo hoo! I now have a shiny new Samsung i8910HD; yes let’s not forget the all important HD! Oooooooh! My last phone was a Sony Ericsson k850i, it wasn’t a bad phone, but I got bored with it very quickly. I’m fairly sure that after a few months I’ll bore of this swanky phone, even with the built in compass, Wi-Fi, sat nav, 8mp camera, and hi-def video recording. Still, boys and their toys!

Tea and I have set a date for the wedding, we’re going for July 31^st, Tea wants to have a mid afternoon service, somewhere around 3ish. It’ll probably be a registry office doings, with a fairly good shin dig in the evening. Tea’s already made up her half of the guest list, so I have to sort out my side of things. As it stands I shall only be inviting one member of my family, my sister Sandra, the rest can get stuffed. None of them have spoken to me for almost 20 years, not that I’m complaining. Although I’m fairly certain that when they hear of the wedding they’ll be trying to get in touch, anything for the chance of free booze up. Right, I’ve gone on far too long.

Fair thee well noble stranger, may the gods guide you on your path.

i have come here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I’m all out of bubble gum

Sunday has been an easy day; I woke up this morning (da da da da dum) thankfully not in pain. My back’s taken about two weeks to sort itself out, it’s still not quite right but it’s better than it has been. Ben stayed at home last night, we spoke about our future, Tea, him and me, Ben said that he wants Tea and I to quit smoking, primarily, I think, because he’s worried about his moms health. To be honest, so am I. Quitting will also be good for me, so we’re going to work on that.

Mick and Dot, my future in laws, came up to collect Ben at about 1. Whilst they were here I asked for their permission to take Tea as my wife, yes I know is all going a bit quick but as I’ve said in earlier posts, it feels so right. Mick and Dot said that we have their blessing and they are both pleased to welcome me into the family, I told them that I am proud and honoured to be part of their family. They are both such warm and friendly people, they have made me feel welcome since day one. Last night, Saturday, I phoned Jay and asked him to be my best man, he said he would, but he seemed a little apprehensive. I then spoke with Liv, she said that she is unhappy with the minimal amount of contact I have with Jay. I explained to her than I speak to him regularly on messenger, and I phone him, I told her that he also knows that he has an open invitation to come up and I will never turn him away unless I have a valid reason, such as being hospitalised, dead or not at home.

I popped into town earlier today and whilst I was waiting for a bus home, Jay appeared. We chatted about my request of him and he asked if he would have to say something, I said he would and that he had to write it himself, not steal it off the net. I also phoned Sandra, the only sister I speak to inform her of the news, she was pleased and a little surprised, bless her.

So the news is out in the public domain, Tea and I are getting married, we’re looking at a late July early august wedding, I think we’ll have a quiet service, probably registry office. But a serious shin dig for the reception, and maybe, just maybe, a posh sit down nosh affair for close friends and family. Who knows maybe we’ll be able to fix up the boy and #6 with a bird for the event.

TEE HEE.

Well until next time faithful somebody

Excelsior!

tomatoes are a fruit you know!

So it’s been two days since last entry, and such fun has been had. Last the lads came round for the evening; the conversation was occasionally interrupted by the odd stint of gaming. By the end of the night Joe had me in stitches. We really should start writing some of the stuff we come up with down. Aside from Joe going to Goa with a goer, the conversation was rude and hilarious, none of which can be written down here. If Friday nights were to be televised, it would have to be broadcast on five. I look forward to Friday nights again; I really think that I’m on the last leg of recovery, if recovery is the right word.

I had my last counselling session yesterday afternoon; the counsellor was very pleased with the end result of my question session. When I did it first the result indicated that I was borderline. Now things have done a complete flip. I’m extremely happy, and things seem to be getting better all the time.

Saturday was Warhammer day, and that’s been great, I really enjoy Saturdays and I think the guys enjoy it too. After the shop it was a mad rush to get home, sort out Obi, get stuff together to take up to Teas. Then get ready to head off to Mick and Dots 50^th wedding anniversary. Tea looked fantastic and despite scary aunts, I think she enjoyed herself. Apparently we’re off to Mum & Dads tomorrow, probably for dinner. I think there’s going to be family there, scary stuff. I also plan to ask Mick and dot for Teas hand. It has to be done properly you know. Any way as I’m writing this Steve Martin’s the Jerk is on the telly and I’m knackered, so I’m going to bed. Night all.